Pet Abuse.

I am seriously thinking of starving my DH’s dog.  In my world, that makes sense.  I awoke today to three piles of large poop in my house.  One of them at the foot of the bed, one in the hallway by the girls bathroom, one just outside the door of the girls bathroom. ARRRRGGGHHH

DH fed the dog yesterday, in the afternoon.  I only feed him in the mornings. That’s it.  My theory is “less in, less out”.

No more Wal Mart bags in the bag holder which is almost but not entirely firmly attached to the cupboard right on the left of the upper sink area.  Reaching my hand waaaaay up inside to find a bag, I did manage to knock the stupid bag holder off the little tiny nails I used to not entirely secure it to the nice oak wooden cupboards.  And, hit my elbow on the way down.

This is NOT a good way to start the day.

As I cussed and picked up the empty bag holder, I noticed that the coffee pot was OFF.  Cold coffee. Yippeee.  Turned it back on. 

Went to the “unpacked items” wall in the living room where I noticed that the laundry basket full of odds and ends was, instead of being balanced precariously on top of the almost unpacked box full of odds and ends, on the floor behind the loveseat and scattered all over the place.

Thank you kittens.

Rooted through the assortment of things I should have unpacked, but didn’t, until finding a walmart bag.  Went and picked up the not so little presents that Monster left me.

Smelling dog dump before you get your coffee and ciggy in you is not a good way to start the morning.

Nuked a cuppa, grabbed a cig and went to take the retarded dog outside.  Chihuahua came with me.  Normally, I don’t allow them out together so he won’t Pee on Her.  She is too nebby and wants to run right over to sniff whatever He is doing…and gets peed on.

It was already a Xanax moment, and I hadn’t been out of bed more than four minutes. 

Sat on the step, pulled out my Palm Treo and pulled up Solitare.  Smoked my cig, drank a few gulps of coffee and said…

Please, go run in the road and get killed.

I am not really a morning person.

They chased the Flame Point Siamese stray instead.

He didn’t poop.  Apparently he had already completely evacuated his bowels in my home. 

Nursey is concerned that I have a Flame Point Siamese as an outdoor stray cat.  She has found a rescue for Flame Point Siamese’s.  In Chicago.  ***shaking my head***

It’s only a 7 hour drive, she says.  Can I please take a close up picture of the cat so she can email it to the rescue?

Sure, I’ll get right on that!

The girls are at their mom’s till tonight.  It was quiet this moring.

The other morning, I was trying to turn off my alarm clock and kept hitting the snooze button.  It wasn’t working.  I just kept rolling over and reaching out on the nightstand to hit it.  Past the cell phone charging.  Past the bottle of water.  Past the empty plate.  I hit the button on the left.  Nothing.  Hit the button on the right.  Nothing.

Finally realized that the radio station I had the alarm set to probably doesn’t play Barney songs, and that would be why it wasn’t working.  It was the sound of ½ Pint’s TV coming through the baby monitor.

A catalog DH gets has this really cool alarm clock in it.  When it goes off and you roll over to hit the snooze, it activates wheels on the alarm clock, which then rolls off your nightstand onto the floor and rolls away from you.  Then it goes back to sleep for five minutes and goes off again. Then you have to “GET OUT OF BED” to go and find it.

Oh, that wouldn’t be pretty. That sucker would be through the bedroom window in two seconds flat!

Baby got her truck fixed.  She came out last night.  She is trying to eat a bowl of cocoa puffs. The kittens are helping her. She doesn’t want to share her cereal with four kittens.

There is a nice breeze blowing in from the patio door.  I like breezes in the morning.  My morning isn’t going normal because I am not watching Fox News.

I am not watching Fox News because the dog ate the remote control to my kitchen TV.  The dog ate the remote control to my kitchen TV because DH left the house when I went to Cleveland with the girls and left Monster in the house by himself.

Monster ate my remote because it is the kitchen remote and when I am cooking, I occasionally pick up the remote to turn the volume up, or change channels. 

The nice man at the store explained to me that since dogs can smell much better than humans, the dog apparently smelled the odors from the various meat items I handle whilst cooking…..and you get the point.

The new remote is $60.  You cannot buy it at WalMart.  You cannot watch a satellite TV without the satellite remote.  You can turn the TV on, but you cannot hit SELECT which activates the satellite signal.

I am going to have a lazy day.  All the kidlets come back tonight at 6 pm.  My two because they have CCD and church tomorrow and their mom doesn’t want to have to get up early to get them ready for me to pick up at 8:30.

The other granddaughter, ¾ Pint because her mom Nursey and her Dad AFCop both work night turns.

Think I’ll run into town the six miles, okay, drive not run, and buy a bottle of wine, a pack of cigs and go take a long bath.  It’s now 12:16 pm so I can legally drink a glass of wine LOL.

I miss my TV.  I need an attitude adjustment.