Monday morning at the Cracker Factory

Crises day.  Funnily enough, I do have a sign in my house that says “There will be NO crises today, I do not have time for them!”

They go ignored.  Just like the signs that say “There is no maid here..” “Given enough coffee, I could rule the world…”  ; “This house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it!”…..”NO VACANCY”….

Baby has a crises.  That’s okay, she’s 18 and 18 year old freshman in college have those regularly.  She is on her way out to discuss it.

My personal laundry is stacked up in my bedroom, overflowing the hamper and lying on the floor.

The kids laundry is sort of caught up, one load in dryer (three days) waiting to be hung up and folded and put away….

There is a load in the washer that now has to be rewashed because it smells of mildew.

There are two loads on TOP of the washer that need to be washed.  There is one load on TOP of the dryer that needs to be put away, except that now it has to be rewashed cause the kittens have slept on it for a week and it is covered with cat hair.

I am down to the last cup of cat food and I don’t get paid till tomorrow when the old unemployment check hits the bank.

I have ½ pack of ciggies left.  1/8 tank of gas.

The floors need swept. Badly.  I want a Dyson. They are expensive.  I have navy blue carpet which I thought was a great choice!!

Dog pee on navy blue carpet turns it green.

Do they make a color carpet that will hide the following:

Dog disasters, red kool aid, coffee spills, macaroni and cheese that is dropped from a kids plate, chocolate flakes from Little Debbie Swiss Rolls and grass stains?  What color would that be? Multi colored grayish, brownish and reddish?

Ewwwwwww.

I own two steam cleaners. They work. WHEN I have the time to use them.

½ Pint has white carpet in her bedroom.  Don’t EVER do that.  She is 5 years old.  I really need to clean her room.  She dumped an entire ice cream bucket of crayon pieces over on her carpet. Boy is THAT nasty.

Last night, after the kids were asleep, I went in to check on them as I always do (actually about 20 times every night).

There she was, in all her splendor, completely unclothed.  After her bath, I had dressed her completely in appropriate bedtime clothing complete with underwear.

And, there she was minus every bit of it, and sleeping like a baby.

I finally located her unders, (stuck under her chin, wrapped up in her Wubby) and put them back on her.  She awoke and asked  “meemaw what are you doing?”

I said, “I am putting back on your unders, you undressed in your sleep and you are all nakey butt!!”

She thought that was hilarious! 

The dishwasher is running, the sink is full and there is a kool aid spill on the table next to my laptop.

Last night I finally got to watch Torchwood, a BBC show I have been wanting to see.  I DVR’d it.  If it wasn’t for the DVR I would never get to watch anything.

I highly recommend Torchwood.  It is quite funny and dramatic. The actors are good. The plots are good.  It is sort of like a Men In Black, Brit style.

They remade Dr. Who, which I enjoyed immensely in the late 70’s.  The new version is even better than the old version which is not something I expected.

We have to make a collage tonight about ½ Pint’s little five year old life. That will be interesting.

Pint got into the Gifted Program.  Out of over 200 3^rd grader’s in her school there are exactly TWO that are in the Gifted Program.  That seems a bit odd to me, I would have thought there were more???

There are two 2^nd Graders and one 1^st Grader.  No Kinders.

They are testing ½ Pint, they said Intelligence runs in families, which I found f’ing hilarious.  Like I wouldn’t know that???? Helloooooooooo.

They must get it from their mom, before she turned into a junkie…cause their dad is dumber than a box of rocks !!

Haven’t heard from him either.  He called from the jail on Saturday, but I didn’t make it to the phone in time and the next time he called, we weren’t home.  He will probably call today, maybe I will accept the call to find out what happened in court.  Oh Wait!! I can pull it up on the internet. I don’t’ have to talk to him.  If he is still shown on the booking, he is still in there, if not, they let him out.  How nice for me!  Hang on, I am looking…

Ooops. He is still there.  Sucks to be him day I guess.

He had me call his current girlfriend so he could tell her something.  I guess they don’t have a phone and I called her at her Mom’s.  She is pregnant with their third child.  He cannot pay child support for the two I have custody of, but he has 2.5 more.

***shaking my head***

I didn’t tell him that our state has warrants out for him for being behind in child support for 3 years.  Thousands of dollars.  REALLY sucks to be him day.

I guess he should have arranged his life differently.

There was a point to this blog when I started it, but I have, alas and alack! Forgotten it completely and utterly.

Life is like that.  So, hi ho, it’s off to clean the ravages of the weekend I go. Then solve the crises that Baby has and then, maybe take a bath if I have time.  I am out of Calgon. How RUDE!!