The last 10 or so years, I have stopped school shopping, preferring to do the dirty deed at the Christmas sales.

 

Some things make no sense to me, and school shopping is one of them.  School clothes come out the beginning of August.  The stores are full of nice long jeans, sweaters and hoodies, striped and solid leggings, gloves, mittens, etc.

 

In our area, as in many, the average temperature in August is above 90 degrees.

 

So, I shop for school clothes in the clearance section, where they have a plethora of capri’s, shorts, short sleeved shirts and summer weight dresses.

 

Then, when the school clothes go on clearance at the Christmas Season, I shop for school clothes.

 

Good thing too, cause ½ Pint got a growing streak.  She went from a size 4 in August, to a size 6 today, and it doesn’t look like she will be in the size 6 for long.

 

I was a bit worried about her development.  I kept asking the Dr’s, (one and two) which is funny because the pediatricians are sisters, and one of them has a last name that sounds like (but is not spelled like) the word TWO, and so the older one who has been in practice long enough that they are now treating grandchildren of her original patients, became in my kids jargon, Dr. One…because her baby sister joined her practice about 15 years ago, and since her last name sounds like Two, she became Dr. Two….anyway, I dirgressed again. Sorry.

 

I kept asking them if ½ Pint was developing physically okay.  Dr. One finally told me….(the physicans are Korean and speak with a slight accent)… This Baby is fine. She is small, but VERY sturdy. There is nothing wrong with this Baby. She is C.O.M.P.A.C.T.  (which absolutely cracked me up…)

 

So little sturdy and compact ½ Pint, who has the cutest backside in our family, the kind of butt every girl longs for and never has, finally achieved a size 6.  Shopping yesterday included five outfits each for the girls in the school clothes dept, most on sale or clearance. 

 

Yesterday, because one of my children actually KNOWS what our lives are like and CARES what our lives are like, and is married to a man who has both understanding and compassion for what we are doing, I got to go Christmas Shopping.

 

Our budget for our four children and two grands that live with us and two grands that don’t and everyone else was a whopping $300.00.

 

That doesn’t go far at all. Nope.  So Nursey and Cop fronted us a piece of plastic on which we can make the payments.  I am so blessed to have her as a daughter and to have her married to Cop.  They are wonderful people, even if they didn’t help us out which they do whenever they can. Except when they fight. When they fight..its not pretty LOL.

 

They are both Cancers.  You can not believe, or believe in Astrology.  Doesn’t matter to me either way.  But I can tell you that when two Cancer’s fight, it becomes well, the thing that reality TV is made of.

 

Cancer’s can take the trip down HYSTERIA HIGHWAY at the drop  of a hat.  When that happens, whomever they are talking to at the time needs to NOT go on that trip.  The problem comes when the Cancer is fighting with another Cancer, because they BOTH IMMEDIATELY JUMP IN THE TRAFFIC ON HYSTERIA HIGHWAY.  So at that point, there is NO rational adult person present.

 

If you have a daughter who is a Cancer, recommend highly that she not fall in love with another. Trust me on this.

 

Yesterday was fun spending the day with Nursey.  I did have to stop into Olive Garden for a quick Merlot to stiffen my spine for the experience.  Not being with Nursey.  Being in public.

 

I shouldn’t be allowed out in public anymore without a chaperone.  My level of courtesy has dropped to the point where I am actually rude I think.   At least, that’s what they tell me.  If someone bumps into me, and doesn’t say anything, I will speak to them…sorta.

 

Actually what I say is things like  “you boorish asshole, obviously your parents left courtesy out of your upbringing…”      Or, “EXCUSE me, did you forget your manners?”

 

I do other things that I shouldn’t too.  Like when they are ringing up the merchandise, and they total the order…and say…..”That will be $157.30”. 

 

So…. I pull out and carefully count out $160.00 while they look, and then hand it to them…and then they enter the $160.00 into the computer which then pops up and says that my change should be $2.70.  At that point, I say “OH! HANG ON, I HAVE CHANGE…and I pull out $2.75 and hand it to them..

 

Then I stand there and wait, laughing hilariously inside me. I don’t do this unless the person is under the age of at least looking under the age of 25 years old.  But at Christmas, the cash registers are positions filled by college students and young people looking for extra money, and none of them can make change.

 

Nursey thinks it is funny too,  which is why I like to shop with her.  None of the other kids will put up with it.  They get mad at me. LOL.  Which does nothing to change the aberrant behavior of their socially unacceptable mother.

 

So today, I get up late.  Rush in to get the girls up and tell them “Meemaw slept in 15 minutes over the absolute time I have to get up.  I do not have time for you to dick around this morning. Get up, Pee, go eat and get dressed or you will miss the bus.”

 

They are great kids, and they did it.  (Sigh..they know me.)  So, at promptly 8:23 they were stationed near the laundry room door which leads to the driveway, and I was stationed at the front door which has no stairs, looking out the storm door window for the bus lights which I can see as it crests the hill.  When I see the lights, I say “OKAY, there’s the bus, go…..”  and they carefully proceed down the stairs and down the driveway.  By the time they reach the end of the driveway, the bus is turning the corner.

 

Timing is everything.

 

We waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.  A thought sort of wandered through my head briefly.

 

The thought decided to return.  Wow, it’s really cold out there.  And there is ice.

 

The thought left again.

 

The girls, at the laundry room door say…”Did you see the bus yet Meemaw?”  to which I reply, NOPE.  She must be really late today.

 

The thought is gone.  It moved though.  From the front door, it wandered through the house and came to land in DH’s head, which works a lot better in the morning than mine does.

 

DH says from the bedroom, “you don’t suppose there is a delay this morning do you?”

 

So he puts the TV on only to discover, there is a 2 hour delay.

 

So they are watching TV, I am blogging, to finish, shower, get dressed and be at the end of the driveway at 10:23 with DH and the girls, put them on the bus and go to wally world to finish up the shopping.  Shop till 2:30, pick up ¾ Pint from the catholic school, drop her off at the Girl’s school at 3 where all three of them will attend the Brownie/Junior Girl Scout Troop meeting, go home and come back at 5 to pick them all three up, then home (20 minute drive), to eat dinner ,then at 7 DH will take ¾ Pint BACK into town to put her to bed.

 

Our job today is to find  a Style and Streak…a GEM thingy that puts beads in your hair, and about 17 other things that have recently been advertised on TV to attract the 5-12 year old girl group…none of which I can remember.

 

It’s all good though. Wally World keeps track of those thingys and will have every single one of them on display.  I know.  This is now officially the 30th year I have shopped for Christmas presents for Girls.  IF they held classes for Christmas Shopping for the PRETEEN market, I could skip the class.