The girls are basically fine.
Pint is showing some obsessive compulsive behaviors. At last appt with her psychiatric prescriber, he suggested Zoloft to complement her ADHD meds, which is the Daytrana patch. You all know I prefer the patch to the other options, first, the medication in the patch has been around and been used by ADHD kids for well over 40 years, and so I am comfortable with giving it to her...and secondly, it only lasts 9 hours instead of 12 or 13....and if I need to, I can take the patch OFF at any time and 1 hour or so later, no medication in her.
I haven’t as yet filled the Zoloft. I am a little uncomfortable with giving it to her. I asked about the ‘suicide thoughts’ black box warning on the Zoloft. Her prescriber said....yeah. Only since they put in on, teenage suicide levels have RISEN 20%. cause now they aren’t giving it to kids that NEED it.
Like he said, those suicides were mostly where a pediatrician said, “here, put him on Zoloft, and I'll see you back in 6 months.”
He said that should NEVER NEVER NEVER happen when you are giving a child any psychiatric drug. We see him every three weeks. He said give it to her and just observe for any changes in mood, temperament, feeling of worthlessness etc. That seems logical to me.
Still, I haven’t given it to her yet. I don’t know if I am being over cautious? Paranoid? ½ Pint is now hating kindergarten. The other kids are ‘stupid’ and she is bored. Sorry about your luck little girl, you are going anyway LOL. After having her since birth, I REALLY looked forward to kindergarten, and started her the second she was ready. I certainly could have held her back one year, her birthday WAS the cutoff, she turned five the last day possible LOL. But, she knew her entire alphabet by sight, even mixed up, could count to 100, and was driving me nuts at home. She already surfed the internet and was teaching herself to read. Keeping this kid home another year would have put me right over the edge LOL.
The girls counselor is ready to pull the plug on visits with mom...and mom is moving CLOSER to the girls. Wheeeeeeee. AND, she took a job that means she works midnights (a 12 hour shift), friday, sat and sun so she will be available ALL WEEK LONG and only 20 minutes away. I can hardly wait. Not. The girls are bad enough when they see her now.
We shall see how much she visits or calls. Since 1/6, she visited on that day, then went 9 days without a call, then called and made a promise to call the next day and did not, didn’t call for 5 more days, then called and made a promise to come over next day, broken, then called with excuse and another promise, broken, then called with another excuse, promise, broken, then finally showed up 2 hours late.....on tuesday last week, then called wednesday, hasn’t called since.
At one phone call, I heard Pint say “mommy, I need to hang up now so you can go take care of baby sister, I hear her screaming and she has been crying for an awful long time...” the counselor flipped out when I told her that.
She asked if I was ready to take the baby, who will be a year old this Friday. I told her I have been ready to take that baby since the mom was 4 months pregnant and I found her shooting heroin, but I will NOT take any action to go after the baby.
CPS has to take this one away. I took her other two. If she loses this one, I am pretty sure she will kill herself. I don’t think I can take the responsibility for that. It IS my daughter after all, no matter how much of a fuck up she is, I do, somewhere DEEP down there, love her . I can’t stand being around her, and hate her as well.
Other than that, Nursey is getting a divorce, which is putting her ¾ Pint through hell, we still have her every weekend...they are moving to Pittsburgh which is a couple hours away from us.
As far as karate, the girls didn’t go for two months. The divorcing daughter had a deal with us for daycare. She paid karate and the car payment and insurance, we watched the six year old every weekend. Well, then the separation, and lo and behold, her husband CANCELED the karate payments. I have now worked out a deal with the karate studio. I work the desk two days a week, and the girls get karate for that. Good thing too as Pint is only ONE TEST away from her BLACK BELT !!! how rude of my son in law to cancel it. Also affects his daughter, ¾ Pint as SHE also is only one test away from a black belt. Poor kids. They always suffer.
Life goes on. And on. And on. But hey, it's MUCH BETTER than the alternative...LOL
posted by: mimi (reply)
post date: 01.29.08 (5:35 pm)
ah, the overwhelming drama...and we had a full moon and the "saddest day" this month as well. lord knows, i do not envy you with so much tearing at your heart.
i think if i were you, i would "try" the zoloft with extremely watchful eyes...you may be surprised in a good way, and you will know if it is wrong. we just got to do whatever we do to help the little ones. xoxoxoxoxo
posted by: auntconi (reply)
post date: 01.30.08 (1:54 am)
Hugs ~ I have utmost respect for you/hubby as you care for the children.
posted by: fractalmom (reply)
post date: 01.30.08 (7:19 am)
i am probably going to try the zoloft, with watching her like a hawk. well, i do that anyway. the prescriber seems to think it will help across a broad spectrum of her issues, settling her down to help the adhd meds, helping with controlling the anxiety which is caused by her mom, allowing her to focus more readily and for longer periods of time...and help with falling asleep at night. so if that is true, it will be a GODSEND !!
posted by: fractalmom (reply)
post date: 01.30.08 (7:22 am)
Reply to: auntconi
thanks coni. you know, the road we walk is not that rare, but it helps to have it validated. most of my friends went by the wayside when we decided to raise these babies. they didn't understand then, and they don't understand now. the funny thing is one of the friends that stayed, her son married a girl who turned into a junkie...and is due to give birth any day. the mom is moving with the baby to where the son is stationed to help him raise the baby. of course, they are taking the baby when it is born and tests positive for heroin. sad. but the funny part is that she always said...i totally respect what you are doing, but i will NEVER do that.
Never is a word we should NEVER say LOL.
posted by: auntconi (reply)
post date: 01.30.08 (9:53 am)
Reply to: fractalmom ... "Never say never!"
Believe me ~ this is something my mother told me years ago.
... and I remember it to this day! Believe me!!!
I am also glad you will be giving the Zoloft a try,
guardedly for sure, but it really could help ~ and I pray it will!
I worked for psychiatrists ~ with specialists from children to geratrics
~ and I saw wonderful help for those in need.
I know you will be extremely watchful
and work closely with her prescriber.
((hugs))
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 01.30.08 (5:18 pm)
Please really read up on Zoloft. -Especially before giving it to a kid. It works in some and, even if it doesn't give suicidal thoughts, it certainly gets in the way of some people caring what they do, and why.
I'm sooooo bothered that we as a species got along for thousands of generations without all these things and now they're put on the market willy-nilly, and prescribed even more carelessly. There is a reason they are so many drugs within that "familiy" of medications - and another why the people who sue the manufacturers are quietly paid off. -Anything to keep the settlements under wraps, and to keep testimony from becoming public.
I know I sound paranoid about these damn drugs, but I have my reasons - some of them are even legitimate.
posted by: fractalmom (reply)
post date: 01.31.08 (5:45 am)
Reply to: surrogate
thank you very much for your words. i too am very nervous about giving it to her. on the other hand, i do not want to consign her to a life of brick walls, hard tasks, and things just not working right. she is only 8 years old. thats one hell of a burden to put on a kidlet, ya know?
as a species, prior to even 50 years ago, none of this shit existed. I have often wondered about this. have we just discovered these diseases? i have come to the thought that...
ALL of our energy up until the invention of the many things that make our lives easier was taken up with pure and simple survival. we got up early to make food, which wasn't convenient and took time. the rest of the day was taken up with working, either to earn money, or to keep house and take care of children. we had virtually NO leisure time. even keeping house took almost the entire day, and when you threw in cooking and childcare, well, no time for any depression other than the deepest sort which required hospitalization.
learning was hard for children. school was hard. homework was hard. we actually LEARNED something.
now, our children have lots of leisure time, not too many standards to uphold in society, people telling them over and over that everything they do is wonderful and acceptable. we no longer have, as a society, parental parenting.
this is turning into too long. think i'll go blog on this one.
thanks surrogate.
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 01.31.08 (6:09 am)
Reply to: fractalmom
My Grandma's way - and so my Mother's way too - of looking at it was this: If you think you're "entitled" to happiness, think again. If you're getting depressed, do something for someone else, and decide to do it joyfully."
Now, I'm not sure how much sense that makes, but it was drilled into me as a little kid and so comes to mind easily, and I must say that the one time in my life when I went into a deep depression for a couple of years, the only thing that seemed to help was when I decided to do something tangible for someone else - something that took time and thought. Soon, I started feeling better and I haven't looked back except to remind myself not to go THERE again.
However, your life is FILLED with doing for others, so whatever glimmer of truth there is in my grandma's words, I'm sure it's nothing new to you.
I have figured out that "happiness," is at most a fleeting thing; something that comes and goes; and frankly, most enjoyable when it's something we're striving for in some clever and creative way, as opposed to actually just "being" happy.
